Sigh....

it's been a hard week for me, really hard.

i spent christmas alone, 'cause i couldn't get home. and i'm still alone.

perpetual loneliness. yep that's the state of my life it seems.

i just feel empty on the inside, and i'm hurting. it's this deep kind of hurt that i can't get to go away and i don't know where the source is. i need to find the source.

i need you to hear my unspoken words
i need you to wipe away my unwept tears
basically i guess...read my mind
find out why
this aloofness
this coldness
see me, i mean really see me
and not what you want to see
or what you think you've always seen
do you even know me
do you know me
...hardly

Here are a pair of my newest earrings:



I'm not one who will promo a new item or new project in every post, not that i think anything is wrong with that, i just don't feel like it all the time. but i figure i'll do it every now and again.

so do you think blogging/texting/im-ing has taken the place of journaling? you see to me there is just something about have pen a paper and writing your words down. i know when write..the style of my handwriting shows what mood i'm in...whether i'm overyjoyed, sad, pissed, or whatever. the emoticons and all the other glitz in blogs just don't cut it for me.

there is somethig raw and authentic about seeing my words on paper...it's just natural.
now don't get be wrong..i am in no way hatin' on the bloggers (clearly because i am one...i guess)

i just don't want the art of writng to disappear.

in the near future...send some snail mail instead of an email (postage..blah blah blah...who doesn't have a few cents right?) but think about it...how excited would you be to receive a letter, a handwritten letter from someone. maybe we've forgotten how that feels...that's why we need to write every now and then to remember...to remind someone.

or instead of a text message...give someone a handwritten note saying that you love them or that you're blessed to have them or whatever.

don't lose the art of writing

your words are power

Seriously I'm considering giving up this whole blogging thing.

Well, first of all I'm just really bad at remembering to write. I'm more of a pen and paper kinda girl so it's easy to forget to get on here.

Secondly, who ever reads this thing really...i don't have any friends on here, but then again maybe i should branch out and make some blog friends.

I don't know, i'll see


On another note, i really miss Mozambique. I miss my family there. I miss my babies. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it and wish that I was there.

I will be again, in August 2009, for a year (or two).

if anyone does read this they should totally check out http://ketabanana.etsy.com I'm kinda fond of it, i think it's a pretty awesome shop.

Good night now
keta

Almost Home......

So here I am only a few days away from being back in the states. I can hardly believe two months have gone. Where do I even begin to start to tell you all that the Lord has done and all that He has shown me.

Well, know that I won't begin to start to tell you know. I'll have to be in a place where I'm settled, you know I need to get over the jet lag, culture shock, re-intergration, you know all that "fun" stuff you get when you return home from a foreign country.

I wish everyone had the opportunity to make their world a little smaller. Do you know what I mean? I wish everyone had the chance to step outside their box or bubble if you will. We're all so comfortable being unaware. What we don't know won't hurt us right, but is what we don't know hurting others... because if we did know, we could possibly have the solution and prevent hurt from others..

Does that make sense? It sounded okay in my head, so I guess that's what matters.

But I do want you to understand. I don't know if I can get it all across tonight, so perhaps I should just wait. Wait until I've collected my thoughts and such...maybe I could summarize my two month journal for you...maybe not.

Anyway... I'll be home soon...I'm leaving home soon

bon dia!!

Bon Dia! I just wanted to let everyone know that the team left on Tuesday..so it's me, solamente, but everything is going so well Yesterday I had a chance to visit the school, Escola de Paz ( the school of peace) and it was absolutely amazing! I was right in my element. I sang songs and danced with the kids and even got a chance to teach them a bit of English...it was so wonderful! I'm so thankful that the Lord is allowing me to be a part of His ministry here in Mozambique...it's such a blessing

So much more has happened as well. Last week we had to opportunity to go into one of the zones (small towns outside of the city) and work at the Center...it's a center for boys who have runaway from their homes because of bad conditions. We were able to encourage them, pray with them, and show them God's love just by being there, playing soccer and other games and teaching English. We were also able to walk through the zone, we shared the gospel with a Muslim woman, prayed for a sick man and woman, and encouraged a member of the church....Praise that Lamb...it's been fantastico!!

Also we've been able to love on the children of the zone...we sang songs (head shoulders knees and toes, deep and wide, itsy bitsy spider) we could have made a record in the guiness book of world records for the largest circle of ring around the rosie!! And their absolute favorite was Pato, Pato, Galinha (duck, duck, chicken!) the Mozambiquian version of Duck Duck Goose...the game was massive 110 people came out to watch!!! Hopefully I will have pictures soon! Keep praying..I love you all God Bless, Nicheyta

so three days left...yep in three days i'll be on a plane headed for Africa.

yeah i can believe it.

things are crazy busy. i haven't started packing...i may be moving out of my apt...gotta get grown up stuff situated...but in it all one constant remains....my faithful Father who loves me and is holding me up with His righteous right hand.

i love experiencing the goodness of the Lord...what i need to remember, however, is this goodness when times get testing, when it gets a little hard. it's easy to be goofy happy now because all of this fantastic blessings are coming my way (money for africa, new car) but i can bet the enemy has some snares set up somewhere.

i'm not naive anymore...he's always seeking to devour me...oh but He that is within me is so much greater.

so i'll remember. i will remember the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

i'm thinking of my babies...yes they are my babies now, the ones in africa. i have been interceding for them and their families, for their futures, for their present. they have permanent indentions on my heart.

they will become what the Lord has meant for them to be...they are his sons and daughters and deserve the inheritance of the King.

they will be the head and not the tail...they will lend and not borrow..their seeds will not beg for bread. they are a chosen generation and a royal priesthood. they are His own. they are His very heart.

believe it...for it is truth

bless the Lord at all times.

i will bless the Lord.

being His hope,
keta

my Faithful

It is absolutley amazing how faithful the Father has been to me...but then again one of His names is Faithful so it should be no surprise
It's amazing how i forget...numerous times He has said to me "Beloved, i will take care of you" and yet over and over i would try to do things for myself

This time was different, raising support i mean. it was hard and stressful but a blessing as well. i drew into Him more, I completely leaned on Him as my Tower, my Provider...and though i had moments of leaning on my own understanding....i always returned

Just when i wasn't expecting it, and when i was say "Lord i give it to you" (for the thousandth time it seemed) He provided....above and beyond...exceeding and abundantly far above all I could ask or think.

I'm leaving for Mozambique in 6 days....i'm gonna start living out my passion in six days, living my purpose in six days. though when i think about it...i guess i kinda have been living it out already. praying for those children, dreaming big, casting the vision...i've be living it out in my heart, in my mind.
in six days i get to start the reality of it.

six days. six days? six days!!!!!!

Bless the Lord....i bless the Lord.

So in about 2 weeks i'll be headed to Mozambique...i cannot explain my emotions. Right now my heart is anticipating....it's ready to be where it belongs.

When you know your purpose, when you are aware of your passion...nothing else can satisfy. nothing else will satisfy me...being there is all that i need.

Headed back to Africa...

Well everyone it's that time again, my most favorite time of the year.....I'm going back to Mozambique!!! (YAY...does a little dance)

This time I get to stay for 2 months...yes 2 months, which means i get to invest more time with some amazing little boys and girls, and amazing adults as well :)

My plan is to go back and volunteer at the School for Orphans and Vulnerable Children. Whatever they need me to do I will be at their beck and call, whether it be teaching some English or cleaning out the goat pens....i'm game for anything.

My heart is to eventually be there for aout 2 years and possibly establishing a long term English teaching program at the school. My long long long term goal is to open up an arts center.

I know, I know...you're thinking 'why do they need an arts center...isn't food, health and shelter more important?'

Yes. those things are way more important...they are essential.

So let me start by saying this...first and foremost I want to see their physicla tangible needs met. i hope by conjoining with the missionaries I will be working with, that we can do that. Believe me that is my top priority

But i want to open an arts center because i want these children to have to to be just that children. You see by the time they are old enough to take care of a little one or do some sort of labor they are put to work (the age is usuall about 5 yrs old)

So they don't have time to explore whether or not they like to draw or build, whether or not they do pretty well in science, do they like to write poetry or songs.

Each one of those children have a talent. They are architects, designers, singers, teachers, doctors and so much more. I want them to have to opportunity to bring out those gifts and talents that God has given them. I don't want them to be buried any longer because of the circumstances and seeming hopelessness that surrounds these little ones.

There is hope.


They don't have to walk in the path of poverty or sickness like their parents and grandparents have.

They can be prosperous. They can build up ther community. They do not have to settle.

They can be what God has called them to be.

That is my heart.

Guilty....

I admit i am a bad blogger...i mean it's not that i don't want to, it's just that life is crazy busy. i have been a bit tired lately with running around with little ones all day. but i absolutely love my new job...those babies are my heart!

in other news..i recently reopened my etsy, which i'm pretty amped about. i have some new things, creativity is being unleashed...so we'll see how that goes

in other other news: i'm headed back to Mozambique, Africa at the end of May. Oh my how excited I am!!! I can't wait to see the children at the school in their new uniforms we purchased for them! I can't wait to love on them for two whole months!!!!!! I'm raising support to go and i know Jehovah Jireh never fails. I am so pumped...this summer is going to be amazing!

so that's all for now, i should be in bed...but i'm still an18 year old college freshman at heart, who thinks she can stay up until 3 in the morning and still function properly (not so) i'm a 25 year old preschool teacher who needs here beauty rest/refreshing, restoring energy to do it all again tomorrow rest

Good night and God bless to you all
keta